Asking Her For Prom

Just a day ago, I heard about a prom coming up and I was excited to invite the girl I like to be my date. Last time, I confessed my feelings to her with no success but I was determined not to just let it go without giving it a last try. So as usual, I asked her out to be my date for prom. The first thing she said was another guy has invited her but she hasn't answered him yet. I was torn but still motivated. I then asked her what I could do in order for her to go prom with me. Her conditions were that I buy a dress for her since she didn't have one and the other condition was to get her a ticket if her mum would allow her to go with me. I was excited and gave her a simple yes as this may be the last time I would be able to go out with her.

Right after that conversation, I went back and took out my phone and drew a invitation picture just for her and gave it to her. Her first reaction was "OMG". I was confused about that reaction but tried to stay calm. She then threw me a question that really shocked me to the core. She asked me "Why do you want to be your date for prom?" It took me some time and was able to only say "cause I like you." I know it sounds stupid but what could I say? It isn't my nature to be asked this kind of movies but no worries. In my mind, all I was thinking was for her to just go with me so I could spend some time withe her. In desperation to salvage what I just said, I asked her to just think about it.

The feeling of failing in my last attempt to ask her out is really killing me inside. I'm fine if she can't go out with me if she decides to but sometimes I think perhaps a last ditch of attempt might be worth it. God, please help me.

Bitch Please!!!!

Today, as my family and I went to Mid Valley to buy my brother a phone for him since he hasn't had a phone for almost  months already. After buying a phone for him, my dad and my mother decided to go to the Samsung shop in order to get me another as well. Thrills filled my body as I wanted to get a new phone for such a long time already.

When we entered the shop, we were looking at a couple of phones that interested me really a lot for example the new Samsung Galaxy S III. After that, we started looking a Galaxy Note. My parents then asked me if I wanted it and of course. I would say yes. After the purchase, that was when I started really getting angry because my parents suddenly said they would only allow me to use the phone on weekends. I was then thinking to myself, why do I want a phone that as exactly the same functions as my original phone?!?!? Fuck them! Secondly, they said that I would only get the phone after my exams which is like 2 months before it ends! If they want to give me something, they should give it to me rather than in half's! If there is one thing that I know, is they both really pissed me off today! FUCK THEM!

Which Group Do I Choose???

In life, we can always say we have different faces. Some having more than just two. For my case, I have three. Life can be a little difficult especially when it comes to really choosing which face you should really be.

For me, my first face is my class group. We speak mostly in Cantonese and Mandarin. Life seems really great and we can call each other as a gang because we would walk around together and acting cool.

The second face which I have is my Christian group. As the name says it, means we all are Christians and as usual. Life needs to be a little more "holy" compared to the first group. Things can be really fun at times when we work together and solve problems as a group. We have camps and activities together as well and bonding gets easy with them. It is as if life just feels better around them. The sad part is I'm not that close to them and we only meet up for a short period of time in a day sometimes not at all. So life with them is more like a session that will soon pass.

For the third face that I have is the crazy group. This face is a face that many people don't see. Mainly because this face mostly shows with my clicks. There are only three of us in total and we all speak English which isn't a problem. We go crazy and technically we would try to stick together as a group through thick or thin but the sad thing is. Once you get close to a certain type of people, they wouldn't mind holding back their opinions or should I say insults. Life can get really high and sometimes really low as they throw insults in your face without considering your feelings. For example today when one made an insult that ticked me off real bad that I cursed him without even thinking. Anger can get a hold of me at times and I still show it when I really feel angry.

For today, my class group and one of my crazy group went out for a meal. Things seemed really weird as we mostly spoke in Cantonese while my friend could hardly make out a word we were saying. In the end we had to speak in English just to make conversations better between all of us. I really feel pissed at such things because I can't keep this up. Sooner or later my life will sway towards one face and the others will just have to give in. But before that happens, I must make a decision which is for the better before my life becomes a spiral between faces.

 So Help Me God.

Having so much stress about these things

          Why does so many things have to trouble me? This here, this that. I can't bare the these things any more cause I just don't understand why I have to handle people's problems while I still have so many problems myself. The worst thing is I got more problems compared to you. Please note this, I might not help not because I don't want to but because I can't at the moment.

Hoping to be single until the right time

          Having a love is so difficult and yet sometimes I just don't understand how to really know weather or not the person has the same feelings for you or not. There was a girl that I really loved and I just thought that she had the same feelings for me as well. So as usual, I asked her to be mine and she didn't seem keen and so I wasted to give her some time for her to think. It was a week after when I received her answer.

        During the week, I could feel that she was trying to avoid any phone calls with me and she seemed to be really down. I wondered if she was doing it just to stay away from me and that was when I knew that she didn't have the same feelings for me as well. I was sad and a sense of failure started to sink in my heart as a I knew her answer had a really high chance or a rejection. My heart sank I but I never wanted her to know it cause I was afraid that she would feel guilty and it would kill me even more. So I just kept my thought and sadness to myself. She will never know how I feel.

Is It Suppose To Like This

              Just recently, I have been trying to bring up the question on weather we should be more than friends but yet every single time I talk to you on the phone or even message. I just can't seem to get the courage and ask you. We talk and sometimes I get so excited that I start asking stupid questions and talk a little weirdly. Why is it that I can't seem to ask you that simple question? And why do I always feel like I'm saying the wrong words? I'm really so confused, can you help me out and give me a chance?

Getting Ready!!!!

                Here it comes, the moment that each and everyone of us that has not been waiting for. And that is a wonderful exam called SPM!!!!!! Every single day brings me closer to this very moment where it will determine whether or not I get a wonderful or a not so wonderful future. Every single day, rushing to study and catch up with so many things I left out. Now, my life is all about studies. Goodbye events, goodbye girlfriend, goodbye games and say hello to exams. Why can't it be much later? I can't escape the fact that life is going to be very messy very fast. Can someone just save me from this torture?!?!?!?